Auntie_K's Diary

カナダで同性婚をしたアラフィフのおじさんの独り言です。

Self-image

f:id:auntie_K:20170427015809p:plain
It's gotten warmer in the past few weeks and the tulips in the garden began showing its green leaves.

I found a vblog on Youtube that, very eloquently, expressed what I have been feeling for a long time.

Here is that vblog:

my relationship with my body

I thought he was talking about me! Although I am not as hairy as he is, I have a pair of hairy legs which was the target of ridicule in school as well. I don't remember thinking that was something I had to "fix" like he says on the vblog but definitely the ridicules made me feel like an outcast and different. I seriously didn't need these ridicules on top of what I was experiencing at the time. I remember wondering why life is so unfair to me.

The difference between him and me is that he is trying to be okay with his own body and be comfortable in his own skin while I am still not there...? WTF, right? He is only 23! He is way ahead of me.

I'm sure there are people out there still suffering from their own self-image. Not only the body that could reflect one's self-image but voices and mannerism could be a trigger for many ridicules in schools, workplaces, or even in your own home.

I guess in the end no one has a control over what others would say or think of me. All I can control is what I think of myself and how comfortable I am with myself regardless of others.

When I free myself from all the negative and embarrassing self-images, I guess I could start to laugh at jokes and learn to take constructive criticism about myself. But...

If I unable to get there up until now, will I ever be able to do that? Free myself??



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